And so I’m back

Well I have hobbled, wheezed, crawled, skidded and stumbled into 2024. When I look back at my unseasonal enthusiasm for the last couple of new years, I feel a million miles away from that. I have felt depleted. I have no big goal this year and I think that’s part of my inertia too. Even this blog has taken a back seat. I have kept one foot in front of the other though. Or rather one welly in front of the other.

It’s probably a jumble of everything – still feeling the effects of grief in my body, still recovering from a virus in the autumn, the abysmal weather, the fecking menopause, the lack of light. I’m seriously thinking of booking a few days in the sun next winter because the impact of the weather this year has been so disruptive. Maybe I just really needed to rest?

I have still been cycling though, I missed a few days here and there because of a horrible bug at New Year and work and exhaustion. I am not burnt out, I’ve been there before and it doesn’t feel like this. I have tried to be gentle and compassionate with myself. It’s been hard. I’ve put weight back on, I’ve lost some fitness, my diabetes has been pretty wonky over the last few months. But I’m on the road to getting back to where I was.

I have had to do some of my cycles indoors and last year I had bought a second hand road bike and turbo trainer with great ideas about pedalling away in the sitting room. I absolutely detest it with every fibre of my being. I have an exercise bike that I’m perfectly happy on, but the turbo is quite frankly torture. I finally admitted defeat, took it off the turbo and round to my local bike store to get it checked and sorted out as a proper road bike. Shout out to Magic Cycles in Bowling because that guy is literally magic with bikes.

So meet Dory. You might notice her pedals look a bit different, yes they are for clipping in. For someone who has generally been quite accident-prone since childhood, this may not be the best idea. But someone kindly gave me their old cycling shoes and because I’d practiced clipping in and out on the turbo, I was determined to give it a try. And I didn’t fall. I did wobble, once, realising very quickly you can’t just clip out on one side, you have to do both. But I did fly home on this light wee nimble bike. When the weather is better, I’ll definitely be putting some miles on her.

But Ruby the gravel bike will always be my beloved one. She can go absolutely anywhere, any terrain, any weather. My bike doesn’t judge me. She is a consistent friend and companion, waiting patiently for me to get my mojo back so we can have more adventures. Just writing again feels good, another step forwards. The wee flowers are starting to bloom and hopefully I will too.